I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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