If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
