I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
