seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
