I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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