we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize