Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
