Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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