The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just cropdusted the office
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Randomize
