so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
