that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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