she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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