Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize