she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
