he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
