I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
