are you still at the devil's house?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
