dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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