he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
