can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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