I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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