I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
there is puke in my bra ... again
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
