i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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