He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
