RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you would pick up someone in the library
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
