By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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