Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
