you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
