Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
