You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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