no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
