Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
