today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
