I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I will die if light touches me.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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