I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
