the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
vagina is talking i cant
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I think my moral compass just broke
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