bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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