He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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