I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
