There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Come see our sink grown plant.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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