Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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