oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
