Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize