wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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