you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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