i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
