Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
