I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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