hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
