Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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