He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
