hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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