Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
...so i touched it.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize