I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
