at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
