The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
she smelled like a LAN party
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We are all done wearing pants today
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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