Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
