I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
