i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
