What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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