he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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