I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
